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walking womad

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Day 36: And another hot day in the mojave desert

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Some days I can't believe I'm a mom now... A mom!? Me?! I'm discovering parts of myself I didn't know of before and I'm discovering a whole new dimension of love. When I look at Noa my heart explodes. I would do anything for him to keep him safe, knowing very well that life will teach him and grow him and that things will happen I have no power over. The first weeks of motherhood haven't been easy. To be honest... it's one of the hardest things I've ever done. Do not get me wrong, it's beautiful and magical and I'm full of gratitude, but boy it's hard too. Sleep deprivation is serious torture and the responsibility for such a beautiful innocent being makes me realize even more how fragile life is. My biggest fears are 1. that he stops breathing (it's a fear all moms have so I've heard) and 2. that one of us gets ill or dies too soon so we can't take care of him together. All I can do is trust that things happen just the way they should and so I try to roll with whatever is coming our way. One thing I am sure of is that I will always love my baby to the moon and back... and back... and back! #motherlove #moederliefde #tothemoonandback #motherhood #11weeksold #tiredbuthappy #Igiveyoumyforever

We took Noa on his first hiking/camping trip to the Austrian Alps. Him being only 8 weeks old and due to the hot temperatures in Europe right now it was a bit of a challenge to keep him cool enough, especially when hiking (our euroschirm umbrellas were a life saver once again). It's a whole new experience for us, looking after a baby while hiking; meaning we have to take frequent breaks, be it for changing diapers, nursing or change of position. While we both sometimes are like "our adventure life is so over", we also know this journey with Noa is the bigger adventure... one of love and patience and letting go and giving everything we have at the same time. We're learning now to create outdoor adventures that include our baby boy and we're already coming up with some exciting plans (as if plans ever work out haha, but one can dream right?). On the list are PCT (always PCT), Continental Divide by bike, biking around Scandinavia with our recumbents,... A well I guess our adventure life ain't over, it has only just begun! 🤘 . #austrianalps #kleinwalzertal #hikingwithbaby #limasbaby #adventureswithbaby #lifehasonlyjustbegun #euroschirm #noarobinhood @limasbaby

39 weeks in / 2 weeks out 🥰 There are 19 days in between these two pictures. The first one was taken right before I got admitted to the hospital (you can imagine how happy I am we still took these photos), 5 days before Noa was born. The second one 14 days after his birth. It's so hard to believe this little miracle was growing inside of me!! When we went to the hospital that day I had no idea Noa was gonna make an early entry into our world and I wasn't quite ready yet to say goodbye to my babybump, but it's not like I got to choose. So while I was happy to the moon and back to hold my baby in my arms, there was sadness too because that very special "in between time" that pregnancy is, was over. Somehow that bump and that closeness were gone too unexpected and too soon. I'm not all friends with my postpartum body yet cause I've never been so "soft and round" and it's a new shape I have to get to know and love. ❤️ #babybump #39weeks #newborn #postpartumbody #loveofmylife

I've never hidden my scars and I never will; especially not this one as it gave me the most beautiful gift of my life and it tells Noa's birth story! The stories of our birth and the children we gave birth to are so universal and so unique at the same time. No matter whether long or short, painful or not, vaginal or c-section, scary or full of joy, they are all worth to be told and to be heard. They are beginnings and endings, of lives, of moms and dads; each one changing the world! 3 weeks early, due to gestosis/hellp-syndrome, I was admitted to hospital and monitored closely. After 3 days the doctors decided it was too risky both for me and for Noa to wait and so they induced labor. The first day not much happened, but on the second day my uterus got overstimulated and contractions got so intense I literally had 7 hours of contractions without any breaks. By the end of day 2 I was totally spent and there wasn't much progress going on as my body wasn't ready yet to give birth. On the third day we made the decision to have a c-section. Epidural anesthesia with low trombocytes was no longer an option and so I was wheeled into the OR with the idea I'd have general anesthesia and I would't experience the birth of my son consciously. It was the birth story I wanted least: Daniel waiting in the waiting room and me not being awake when my son gave his first cry. But then when I arrived in the OR, the anesthetist came to me and said "we're gonna try spinal anesthesia". With my trombocytes being at 70 000 he was willing to take the risk. And so was I. So Daniel was called out of the waiting room, I got spinal anesthesia and 15 minutes later we heard Noa's first cry and he was put on my chest while the doctors closed me up. I remember my first words being "my baby my baby is he ok?" They said he was and I could only cry and shiver and admire the bundle of absolute perfection breathing on my chest. I am so incredibly grateful I got to experience consciously my baby boy being born and Daniel was there with us and could hold him in the OR too and (... continued in comments...)

Nothing can describe a miracle like this, except for LOVE! ❤️ Our son Noa Robin was born on May 20th, a windy sunny day with some thunderclouds in the sky. 2 weeks early but just in the right time he made his way into our arms and conquered our hearts the second we heard his first short cry. He's been widening our hearts ever since. With every time we look at him, hold him, smell him and hear his quiet breath the room in our hearts is growing and growing and growing and now I know a heart can grow forever and love is without limits. #myoneandonly #nothingbutlove #newborn #miracle

Our pumpkin is the only one going wild these days... Me? Not so much 🤰. Hammock and a cup of decaffeinated coffee is about as wild as it gets 🤘🤪. #tummytable #35weeks #kickinglikecrazy #cansomeonefeedmechocolateplease #gettinginpatientnow #thingswillgetwildagainsoonenough

There's a whole new kind of love growing inside of me... This journey is not only making my tummy grow but is also unlocking a new room in my heart. From getting the news we can't have children to feeling my miracle baby move and kick and already live its own little life inside my tummy, my heart has grown in ways I didn't know of before. We only have 8 more weeks to go and while I feel how special these short 9 months are and I treasure the closeness to my baby, I can't wait till I can hold our miracle in my arms. From then on my life will be about learning and failing and learning again of how to let go, but till then I'll hold a little longer, as close and as loving as I can. Baby you are making me fall in love again and again every single day ❤️ . #32weeks #fallinginloveoverandoveragain #miraclebaby

Like every year by the time it's March I get itchy to head out to warmer places and hit the trail. But with a 30 weeks baby bump things are a little different this time around. Our baby is coming in 10 weeks so we're probably gonna stay at home this summer. Still we can't wait to take our pumpkin out on the trail, so we're already planning a trip to the Canary Islands in October and we hope to fly over to the US again next year for some miles along the PCT or CT. Our life is definitely gonna change but we still hope to travel at least 3 months a year and just take our baby with us on our adventures. We're curious already what "lightweight backpacking" with a kid looks like 🤪... Also I could't resist buying our bubba that cool trucker hat. Maybe we should hike the Arizona Trail then? #hayduketrail #coloradoriver #grandcanyon #takelessdomore #willprobablybetheotherwayaroundsoon #takemoredoless

"Do these hare tracks mean we're having a boy?" 🤪🐰 I've really been enjoying our winter trip to the Bavarian Alps. While initially we wanted to go to Sweden, the drive up there would've been just too long and exhausting for me. My body is reacting very differently during pregnancy and I have to pay close attention to what it tells me so I don't overdo it. It was quite hard to say no to a longer trekking adventure but I bet once our baby is born, we'll take our pumpkin out as soon as we can. These shorter backcountry skiing days have been wonderful too though. Slow and easy bc skiing seems like the perfect sport for me during pregnancy. ❄️❤️ . #oberammergau #graswangtal #abseitsderpiste #backcountryskiing #3monthsleft

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Day 36: And another hot day in the mojave desert

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